the love that my Heavenly Father has for each of his children. Let me explain... My Little Robbie has had ear infections and bronchitis (the non-contagious kind) since before Christmas. He has been on 9 different antibiotics and then we started breathing treatments (4x's a day, since January). So, we had just finished his most recent antibiotics on Thursday night. Friday He was whiny and wouldnt eat...Saturday he was ok and Sunday he was decent but still no eating. So, on Monday he was wheezy and stuffy in the nose so I made an appt for Tuesday morning at 9:15...9:15 is early for our household to be anywhere but the breakfast table in our pj's, but we managed to get to the Doctors office on time. The doctor took one look in his ears, listened to his chest and then made the following comments, "His ears look like we have never even given him antibiotics. They have puss in them and I'm worried that since this has been going on so long that he could have a hearing problem from all of this mess." , "His chest sounds terrible. I can't believe that he doesn't complain at all about this."
So: She sent us to American Fork Hospital to do the following:
* Get a chest x ray for pnemonia
* a deep suction from respiratory care &
* blood work
*and as rsv swab/culture
Now we had been there in January for a x-ray to make sure it wasn't pneumonia, and it wasn't...so this time I called Rob to meet us at the Doctors so we could go to the hospital together. (I can't go into the x-ray room.)
So Rob met us and we all went to the hospital together. As I sat in the hallway while the boys were doing the x-ray I heard my baby crying and it hurt me. I knew he was ok, just ticked about being strapped in to a corset-like contraption and not being allowed to be held by daddy. So, that was over in 10 minutes...we then proceeded to Respiratory Care where we were shown how to hold our baby down on the bed while the therapist gently suctioned him out. This involves sticking a tube down each nostril and sucking stuff up from the throat and lungs. It is not pleasant for adults, so imagine my 15 month old being held down by the 2 people who love him the most in this world while this is happening to him. He was MAD and SAD at the same time. Screaming and fighting. He is a strong boy. So, with that over they sent that to the lab and we left the hospital now knowing that he had to have blood work done on top of that. So we returned to the doctors office. He is receiving a series of 3 shots over 3 days for the ears (apparently it is the last resort before tubes go in) So, we held him down, again, for that shot which is a thick sticky substance that takes a good while to administer into the thigh muscle. Again, he was not happy...So, he calmed down and we left. Rob got in his car for work and I got in mine with Little Dude. We were literally pulling out of the parking lot when my phone rings...it was the hospital saying they forgot to do the blood work. So I called Rob to see if he could come back to the hospital but he needed to get back to work, so I took Little Dude to the Phlembotomy lab myself. Now keep in mind that I am pregnant and I cry at almot everything recently. I am not a crier so this is hard for me to control. So, basically, to make a long story shorter, I had to sit in this chair and hold my baby down while they TRIED to draw blood from his arms. I did not know you could do this from such a little person, apparently you can. It was the most heart wrenching thing and I am doing everything in my power to divert his attention form them digging around in his arm. "Look can you see Pooh Bear on her shirt?," "I know it hurts sweetie but it will be over soon,"... I was pathetic. Finally after about 15 minutes of them trying and failing in both arms...I asked to take a break...I couldnt handle it anymore. I turned Robbie around to me and he cried, "Mommy" and then clung to me sobbing. So, I lost it. I was bawling and trying to get it together and the lab girls looked mortified and I am trying to explain what a long day it had been and that I wasn't mad or upset at them that I was just pregnant, I don't think it worked. So, they finally called the "last-resort" person to come down and do the draw. She comes in the door and she says, "Why are they both crying?" At this point I could no longer talk...I just felt so bad for Robbie and that he didn't understand what all this was for. So, I wound up leaving the room, while they did the draw. (BTW she got it the 1st time she did it, now I know to ask for the "last-resort person" So, I am in the hall bawling uncontrollably and finally reached my dad on his phone at work...and he talked to me until they were done....I had to talk to someone b/c I coud hear him sreaming down the hall and through a closed lab door. (Thanks Dad for always being there for me) So they bring him out to me and we wound up sitting in the lobby for 30 minutes until we both calmed down enough to go to the car. And yes the lab girls kept checking on us to make sure we were ok. They were very nice. So we left, came home, and both took long naps. We went back to the doctors today for the 2nd shot....Little Dude saw the nurse coming...immediately started to cry and tried to make a break for it. He still got the shot and we only have 1 more to go tomorrow.
Ok, back to the original point I was going to make.
As we held our baby down and he screamed and kicked and thrashed in pain and confusion I thought about how much it must take for our loving Heavenly Father to let us experience some of the things we do here on earth. Rob and I understood that the tests we subjected Little Dude to were to help him get better and ultimately grow up happy and healthier. Robbie didnt understand that, but I'll make sure I keep telling him and reminding him when he is older. Likewise, Heavenly Father always sees the bigger picture of what we are going through and understands that tests/trials are always for our profit and learning, even when they may hurt like the dickens, cause us anguish and pain, and most of the time, like Little Robbie, we dont understand why we are having to go through these things. As I watched my baby go through these things it hurt, and I had as much emotional pain as he had physical pain, but I knew it was the best thing for him. I saw and gained a greater knowledge of the love that my Heavenly Father has for me and each of his children. It is tough to be a parent. It is tough to be a child sometimes..but thank goodness for the knowledge I have that my Heavenly Father loves me and is there for me.
So, there was our traumatic day...it is over, we are recovering and find out tomorrow about tubes. 2 shots down...1 more to go. Love to all of you!
~Jules
The Eye of the Beholder...
12 years ago
